Emotions are calling for motion

As a meditation practitioner, I got to accept the passing nature of emotions. Anger, sadness or even joy, are ephemeral. What give us a hard time now will soon be a thing of the past. But while most of the time, the realization itself can defuse the intensity of the feelings, this does not answer what gave rise to the emotions in the first place. For example a comment like "you should be working harder", can be absolutely indifferent some people, but why will it make me furious? Let's reflect on it.

There is something really important we should keep in mind: Emotions are the body's calling for action. They are there to help us respond fast and decisively to our environment. Eg. I get the menacing comment (or what I understand as menacing) "you should be working harder". Suddenly I feel that my job, reputation and professional integrity are in danger. Blood is rushing to my head, anger is rising and I'm ready for a fight!

And while anger would indeed be a fast and decisive strategy to work with in a prehistoric society (eg. another tribe attacking my village), in the modern time it usually causes more trouble than good if expressed freely.

Of course, long before learning about reacting vs. responding mindfulness practices, I was taught to hold my temper and tongue. Later, mindfulness practices came as an extra asset that helped me diffusing my temper faster and being able to respond properly on a timely matter.

But still: why was I so worked up over such a minor comment? Was it indeed a menacing comment or did I misinterpret it? Could it be a neutral observation? Or valid feedback? Or maybe the comment was out of place and it didn't need to be accessed at all?

Most importantly: what was the internal interpretation of the situation that gave rise to the emotions?

Now that is a real opportunity to look further deep inside me, to learn more about my internal wiring. What are my core beliefs that drive my routine, thoughts and emotions? By doing a simple exercise as the 5 whys Technique (taken from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy this time), I can easily come to the conclusion that I was not angry at my performance assessment. I was angry at the thought of losing my job, or not being recognized, which, to my mind might can be translated as "you are not worthy enough". That is what made me angry. The initial call for action was to try harder. But after reflecting on the comment, the call for action can be to love and accept myself, even when my performance is not the best.

Let's sum it up on a more general base. Emotional reactions disproportional to the actual event, are strong hints that point towards the direction we might want to work with ourselves. Mindfulness practices are detrimental to the process: from understanding the rise of emotions and responding properly, up to getting insight to our inner thoughts, patterns of behavior and go-to strategies in times of stress. And when treated with care, this process can lead to long lasting change. So next time a strong emotion kicks in, it's worth reflecting or even journalling a bit about it. Where did this came up from? Why does it matter? And what action is this calling me for?